When Mick Jagger sings “…you make a dead man come,” we all know
to what he is referring. Is there a man alive who wouldn’t sell
his soul for a killer blowjob? Even if you feel you give damn
good fellatio already, you may find something in this article
that may further blow your man’s mind. If you are a novice, read
the article and choose two or three suggestions you would like
to try. Not everything here will appeal to you or your lover.
But everyone’s sexuality changes and evolves with time, so there
is room for growth and learning in your encounters even with a
longtime partner.
Show enthusiasm. The best
fellatio involves a giver who is totally into it, aroused, even
a little worshipful. You may find it extremely erotic to
pleasure your partner in this way. You may enjoy the stimulation
to your lips, tongue, mouth, and hands as you perform a blowjob.
Perhaps you get off on the feeling of power you have over your
lover as you control his pleasure, or you may get a sexual
charge out of feeling dominated by your lover as you serve him.
Maybe you enjoy the sense of giving involved in this extremely
intimate act. Whatever your scene, you absolutely, positively
must be into giving this man a blowjob, otherwise no one will
enjoy it.
Set the scene. Although a
quickie blowjob in an elevator certainly should have its place
in your sexual repertoire, most men will enjoy a blowjob to the
fullest in a more relaxed setting. The best oral sex begins long
before you take off his clothes. Wear something you know he
finds sexy on you. Help him to relax and loosen up, perhaps with
a bath or a glass of wine together. Keep the lighting soft,
light a few candles. Choose music that is not distracting, but
rather blends quietly into the background. Turn the TV off
…unless you want to add porn to the mix. If you do, you may find
“compilation videos” or hard-core segments less distracting than
porn laden with plot and dialogue.
Lay him on his back on a large bed with clean, crisp sheets.
Slowly undress him. By taking your time, you build his
anticipation and arousal to a tantalizing level. Make sure he
has no distractions whatsoever. Turn off the phones, lock the
door. Make sure everything you need is within easy reach:
condoms, lube, sex toys, something to drink, something
refreshing to eat (perhaps a bowl of fresh strawberries, chilled
grapes, or orange slices). Let him focus entirely on his
pleasure. If he touches you, it should be for his own enjoyment
and not to pleasure you. Make it clear that he is in for a real
treat.
Explore his whole body.
Start slowly. Touch, lick, and kiss your partner, not just the
areas that turn him on but the ones that turn you on as well:
the nape of his neck, his earlobes, his chest, his nipples, his
round buttocks, feet and sensitive toes, thighs. Be vocal about
the areas you adore, either by moaning with pleasure or simply
telling him how hot you find his hard biceps, for instance. Talk
dirty to him if you enjoy doing so. The idea is to let him know
how much you relish contact with him. Keep exploring as you
gradually work your way to his genitals. Try licking and sucking
his fingers so he gets a preview of what is in store for his
cock. Take your time and savor his entire body.
Use your whole body. The
best blowjobs involve much more than just your mouth, and focus
on much more than just his penis. Use everything available to
you to pleasure him. (Also, by using your whole body you show
your own arousal and enthusiasm.) Use your mouth, lips, tongue,
face, hair, hands, fingers and nails, chest, whatever occurs to
you. Rub your genitals against his cock, his leg, or his hand in
order to increase your own arousal during the blowjob. Let your
body move naturally along with the movement of your mouth and
hands. Allow it to be a sensual dance. He’s likely to enjoy the
show.
Be Creative. There is no
script. So allow yourself to be swept away by the moment and do
what feels good to you and your partner. Explore different ways
of pleasuring your partner. Every man is different, and every
encounter is different: the same man might love a gentle touch
one night, but want more aggressive play another night. Don’t be
afraid to try new things. But always pay close attention to the
response of your lover. If you try something new and he squirms
and moans with pleasure, keep at it. If not, move on to
something else.
Do you have a lover who tends to be quiet and still? How can
you tell if he likes what you’re doing? Notice his testicles.
When he is aroused, his testicles will rise within the scrotum,
so rather than two balls hanging in a loose sac, the balls will
be high against the base of the penis and the scrotum stretched
tightly across them. Also, his cock will be very stiff and the
head will swell even further and become rock hard. Pay attention
to these signs that you are pleasing him.
Try different moods. Be playful, intense, slow and sensual, or
fast and frantic—or all these things in turns during a great
blowjob. Relax and follow your instincts, and take your cues
from your partner.
Condoms. While oral sex
can be a fulfilling form of contraception, it is not without
risk of disease. Unless you are monogamous and have both
recently tested negative for HIV and other STDs, plan to use a
condom. Be sure to put it on his penis after he is hard and
before you have oral, anal, or genital contact with his penis.
Choose from an almost endless variety of condoms – colored,
ribbed, flavored, whatever you like. Put a small amount of a
petroleum-free lube (it won’t degrade the condom) on the
inside tip of the condom before putting it on your partner.
Learn to put one on with just your teeth, tongue, lips, and
mouth (you can practice on a dildo.) Put the condom on in this
manner as he watches, making plenty of eye contact with him as
you do so. Drizzle lots of lube on the outside of the condom and
rub it on with your hands.
Start slowly. When you
first encounter his cock, move slowly. Get acquainted with it.
If it’s flaccid, place it in your mouth and explore it with your
tongue. Delight in the sensation of it getting large and stiff
within your mouth. With your hands, mouth, and tongue, explore
every inch of it. Run your tongue along the shaft, note the
texture, each vein and bulge. Run your tongue along his
testicles, explore the difference in texture there, place a
testicle in your mouth and suck. Observe his response. Some men
adore having their balls licked and sucked.
Move back up the shaft slowly, working your way to the head.
Remember to make eye contact with your lover. You may both find
it powerfully erotic to gaze into each other’s eyes as you
perform this intimate act. Use your tongue to explore the ridge
where the head meets the shaft. Pay particular attention to the
frenulum, which is the loose patch of skin on the underside of
the penis where the head meets the shaft. Most men find this an
intensely sensitive area. Run your tongue along it, first
gently, then a little harder. Kiss it, suck at it. Gauge his
response.
Move on to the head. Wet it with your mouth. Feel the smooth,
hard surface against your lips, kiss it, lick it, tease it ever
so gently with your teeth (if you are using a condom, be careful
not to puncture it). Explore the hole in the center of the head
with your tongue. This hole is called the meatus, and it’s where
urine and semen come out of the penis. Some men enjoy
stimulation to this area. Now slowly take the hard, sensitive
head entirely in your mouth while using your tongue to stimulate
the frenulum. If your partner is seated or lying down, and you
are between his legs facing him, your tongue can easily
stimulate the frenulum on the underside of the penis as you move
the head in and out of your mouth. Pull the head out of your
mouth and flick your tongue rapidly against the frenulum. Some
men really get off on this sensation.
Begin to build and increase the
action. Play around with different moves and see to what
he responds, what his mood is for that session. When you find
something he enjoys, stay with it for a few minutes or longer,
then vary it. If he really loved something you did, you can
return to it later. But never do the exact same thing for an
extended period, as the effect of even the most wonderful
sensations diminish with time.
Be slick. At this point,
you may want to apply lube to his nice erect cock, even if
you are not using a condom. This process in itself can be
quite entertaining. Drip the lube slowly along his head and
shaft, and then use your hands to cover his penis with it.
Be sure to choose a lube that is tasteless and odorless, or
one whose taste and smell you like. We like the silicone
lube
pjur Eros Bodyglide. It is odorless, has no taste
whatsoever, never gets sticky, and is highly concentrated so
a little lasts a long time. Enjoy the feel of his slick rod
in your hands and mouth.
Be resourceful. Try not to
have your head simply bobbing up and down on the shaft. This
action may produce results, but we’re talking about more
advanced skills here. You aren’t merely simulating
intercourse. Your mouth and hands have a great many more
ways to pleasure his cock than has a pussy or anus. So go
ahead and stroke away, but vary it.
Stick out your tongue and say “ah.”
Leave your tongue out of your mouth and use it to pleasure
his frenulum as you stroke. Also by sticking your tongue
out, you can take the shaft deeper into your mouth. Although
the shaft has far fewer nerve endings than the head and the
frenulum, many men adore the sensation of being taken fully
into their lover’s mouth and even their throat (We’ll deal
with deep throating in a separate article.) When you are
stroking him with your mouth, don’t forget to use your
tongue and lips to increase the sensation. Try sticking your
tongue out so you lick his shaft as you stroke with your
mouth, or use your lips and tongue to stimulate the frenulum
as you pump away. If you moan with pleasure while his cock
is in your mouth, he feels the delightful vibration of the
sound in his penis. Long before “Hummer” was the name of a
gas-guzzling jeep, it was known as a stimulating type of
blowjob. Test his music knowledge and his ability to focus
by playing “Name That Tune” while you hum your way into his
heart. (This may give new meaning to the term “having a tune
stuck in your head.”)
Try some moves. Draw your
lips into a tight circle, so there is almost a popping sound
when the head moves in and out. Be extremely careful not to
accidentally use your teeth once the action builds, as it
can easily cause injury. You may carefully experiment with
nibbling on the shaft, as some men find that erotic, but any
use of teeth should be approached with very gradual and
deliberate experimentation. Try sucking on his penis,
creating a vacuum-like tightness and pressure. Don’t be
afraid to suck hard, as many men enjoy that strong
sensation. Suck on the head, or take the whole cock in your
mouth and maintain the suction the entire time you slide it
in and out of your mouth. Or take the opposite approach and
take the penis loosely deep into your mouth, then move your
head side-to-side in a figure eight so his penis is moving
around inside your mouth. You can try long, hard strokes
along the entire shaft with just your tongue or with your
mouth, or quick light strokes with your mouth just on the
head. There are an almost infinite number of ways to
pleasure a cock. Be open-minded and playful, and you may
continually find new ways to please your lover even after
many years together. (And believe me, if you become great at
giving him head he’ll still be coming back for more after
many years.)
Good vibrations. Add
vibrators to the mix for more variety of stimulation.
Vibrators with interchangeable heads like the
Eroscillator or
Synergy Pleasure System can be used on virtually any of
his erogenous zones, while your mouth and hands work
elsewhere. The hands-free
Layaspot can be laid across his testicles while you
pleasure his cock with your mouth and use your hands on his
anus or nipples. Hold a
Pocket Rocket against his frenulum as you suck on the
head of his cock and tug on his scrotum. You can turn your
mouth into a hot, wet penis-vibrator by holding (or by
having him hold) a vibrator under your jaw. Or consider the
Tongue Joy, which is literally a strap-on for your tongue.
If your tongue is pierced, you MUST try this amazing
micro-vibe with its stainless steel barbell accessory. The
possibilities are limited only by your imagination.
Give me a hand. Never let
your hands lie still and go unused while you give a blowjob!
I cannot stress this point enough. Use them to stroke his
shaft below where your mouth is, or you can hold his cock
firmly at the base while you suck, even using your hand to
firmly draw his cock into your mouth further. Your hands are
also indispensable when it comes to testicular and anal
stimulation.
Have a ball. Don’t neglect
his balls – another point I cannot stress enough! Testicular
stimulation is highly erotic for most men. Try using your
hands to pleasure his balls, or stroke his cock with your
hand and use your mouth and tongue to lick and suck his
balls. Most men enjoy having their testicles cupped or
played with. Experiment with gently scratching his balls
with your fingernails. It is natural for a man’s balls to
rise when he is aroused, and most men enjoy it when you
gather their balls in your hand and pull them firmly down,
drawing them away from the base of the cock. (Be careful
never to press on the balls themselves.) You can use your
fingers to form a circle around the base of the scrotum to
hold the balls down in the sac. Also try tugging hard on the
bottom of the scrotum, pulling it down away from his cock.
Proceed slowly and carefully, trying gentle pressure before
increasing it if he seems to enjoy it. As in all sensitive
erogenous zones, there may be a fine line between pleasure
and pain, and each man has his own threshold that may shift
over time, so be attentive to his responses.
Knock at his back door. A
great many men enjoy anal stimulation. While your mouth is
busy with his cock, gently touch the sensitive anus with the
tip of your finger. If he does not discourage you, insert a
lubed finger in his anus. If he responds positively, push
your finger further into his rectum until you feel the
prostate, which is the size and shape of a chestnut. Massage
it with your finger. Use your other hand to press against
his perineum, the area between the base of the penis and his
anus. Between your two hands, one inside and one outside,
you will be able to stimulate his prostate quite well. Many
men are driven absolutely wild by this approach. If he
enjoys rectal stimulation, you could take his cock in your
mouth while facing him, then wrap your arms around his hips
and use both hands to stimulate his rectum and anus. Hug him
towards you each time you take his cock deep into your mouth
and finger his anus at the same time. For many men, this is
sheer bliss. Try stroking his cock with a
male masturbator as you lick and suck his balls and
finger his ass. If you really want to drive him crazy, have
him insert an
Aneros prostate stimulator or a
vibrating butt plug while you suck his cock, then use
your hands to stimulate his balls, nipples, and other areas.
Talk about multi-tasking!
Give me a break! If you’ve
been at it a while and your mouth is getting sore, give your
mouth a brief rest. Pull back and admire this gorgeous
raging hard-on you created. Let your hot breath fall on his
slick shaft. Stroke it lightly with your hands. Rub it
against your cheek, kiss it lightly, hug it to your chest.
If you have long hair let it fall over his penis. Stimulate
him with vibes and other toys as you rest your mouth and
hands. Enjoy this brief interlude before the action resumes.
The crescendo. By now
probably you both have worked up a head of serious sexual steam.
You have two choices: You can continue to build the tempo and
action until he cums. Or, you can bring him down a bit, then
begin to build again. Although your lover may object at first to
his runaway freight train of sexual energy being slowed down, in
the end he will thank you for prolonging his delight.
If you feel he is approaching climax (i.e., he’s writhing on
the bed, clutching the sheets, moaning like crazy, proposing
marriage -- a sure sign you’re doing it right), then you might
want to slow the action until he backs away from the imminent
orgasm. Then slowly begin to build again. Many great dance and
musical performances make use of this strategy, slowly building
to near crescendo then backing off and starting slowly and
quietly again. Try making use of it in your great performance in
bed. Near-orgasm is a wonderful place to be! Try to keep him in
that state for as long as possible, without frustrating him.
Some men cannot tolerate slowing down once they are near
orgasm. However, often a more patient, experienced lover will
adore this sort of dance. The process of building to
near-orgasm, then having the action slow, with you whispering
“not yet” into his ear in a husky voice as you slowly build the
tempo again, may drive him wild. Be especially aware of your
partner’s responses during this process. Sometimes a man is past
the point-of-no-return, and you must help him come if he seems
unable to slow down. Also, even the most patient of lovers will
eventually want to enjoy the grand finale. So try to pick up on
signs that he is ready to cum.
The moment of truth.
Assume the position. Any position that allows you to reach his
cock with your mouth is game. But when you’re ready for the
finale, if you’re not already in the ultimate position of sexual
worship, kneel between his legs. When you sense he is ready to
cum, quicken the pace. You should be pumping fast and furiously
with your mouth, or your hand if you can’t move fast enough with
your mouth. Timing is everything; at this point, DO NOT slow the
pace no matter how sore or tired your mouth or hands become.
Keep the rhythm going and don’t stop. Make sure you pace
yourself during the blowjob so that you can finish with a
sprint. Virtually all men enjoy rapid-fire pumping at the end,
but some men like it light and others like a firmer hand.
Experiment with pressure and speed.
Don’t forget his balls! Many men find testicular stimulation
critical as they near orgasm. Some even enjoy having their
scrotum tugged hard as they approach climax. Others are driven
over the edge by anal, rectal, and/or prostate stimulation.
You’ve spent a lot of time learning what he likes, now is the
time to give it ALL to him at once!
As he nears orgasm, you will notice changes. His breathing may
become quick and shallow, the sounds he has been making may
change abruptly, he may arch his back and tense his muscles; he
may throw his head back and clutch at you or the sheets. His
balls rise so much they become difficult to move with your hand,
his shaft will be rock hard, and the head of his cock will
become so huge and engorged it feels as if it will burst. Do not
stop pumping, and do not slow down! Keep pumping as long as he
will let you. For many men the orgasm will be more intense and
prolonged if you continue to stimulate them throughout the
climax. At some point following orgasm, his cock may become so
acutely sensitive that he will only enjoy the gentlest touch, if
any. Pay attention to this sudden change.
Swallowing. Most men enjoy
it when you swallow their cum. Men who have strong feelings for
their lovers in particular may report feelings of intimacy and
acceptance when their lovers swallow. One man deeply in love
admitted to feeling a “soul injection” when his partner
swallows. Although many partners are happy to oblige, some
people find it difficult to do. Remember that it is a very small
volume of liquid, about a teaspoon or so. The taste of semen is
fairly mild, but can vary tremendously from man to man, and even
for the same man at different times. If you have difficulty
swallowing, you may try holding your breath and swallowing
quickly. Some people find deep throating at the moment of
ejaculation helpful, as he shoots his load so deep in your mouth
that it bypasses the taste buds. If you absolutely cannot bring
yourself to swallow under any circumstances, you can try to
discreetly spit the semen into a tissue or towel. Or better yet,
pull his cock out of your mouth at the last moment and have him
ejaculate on your face or body, then make a little erotic show
out of spreading his cum onto your body with your hands. Of
course, if you are using a condom and you keep it on while he
comes, you don’t have to worry about any of this!
Afterward, some men enjoy it if you “milk” their cock by
squeezing at the base and then sliding your hand up the shaft
toward the head, getting out every last drop of cum and lapping
it up. Other men are so sensitive after coming that they cannot
stand to be touched. Most enjoy at least having their balls
cupped by your hand.
What if he doesn’t come?
Not every blowjob will result in ejaculation, and that’s not
necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes a blowjob will be part of
many sexual activities you enjoy together in a given session.
Not all men find it easy to ejaculate, although they may enjoy
oral stimulation tremendously. If a man ejaculated recently, he
may be unable to come again for a while. As a man ages,
ejaculation typically becomes a less frequent occurrence and
produces a lower volume of semen, although an older man may have
at least as much sexual activity and enjoyment as a younger man.
Fatigue, depression, distraction, and certain medications may
interfere with a man’s ability to come. Remember, the idea is to
enjoy yourselves; there doesn’t have to be a goal or end-point.
Do your homework. If you
are serious about learning to give a great blowjob, there are
plenty of resources out there. Many books deal exclusively with
how to give blowjobs. Prefer to see the action live? Try a
how-to video, or rent porn that focuses exclusively on men
receiving blowjobs. Not everything may appeal to you and your
partner, but you are likely to discover something new to enhance
your experience.
It seems obvious, but remember to talk to your partner and ask
him what he has enjoyed about your encounters, or what he might
like to try. Encourage him to talk to you and guide you while
you are giving him a blowjob. Ask him to let you watch him
masturbate – you will likely learn something from watching how
he gets himself off and you both may enjoy the performance.
However, don’t be afraid to try things that are new to both of
you. You may discover something that your partner has never
experienced that drives him wild. Try giving a blowjob
blindfolded and with your hands tied behind your back, so that
you have to focus completely on using your mouth in the most
creative way possible. Or blindfold him and tie him spread-eagle
then torture him with pleasure, keeping him just at the brink of
orgasm. Dress as a nurse and give him a sponge bath and rectal
exam, or play a naughty schoolgirl and have your “teacher” spank
you and make you get on your knees and pleasure him. Experiment
with different positions, or scenarios where you role-play,
complete with costumes. Vary your approach. And of course
practice, practice, practice. Your eagerness to please is likely
to appeal to him.
A note to the recipients of all this blowjob attention: If you
want your lover to give you lots of head (and what man
doesn’t!), then make the area as appealing as possible. Make
sure you are freshly bathed, and seriously consider shaving your
shaft and balls. You are likely to feel sensitized if these
areas are clean-shaven, and your lover will appreciate not
having to contend with stray hairs as he or she pleasures you.
Finally, your lover is likely to be generous in bed if you, too,
are generous in bed. So don’t forget to reciprocate!
